Recommended resources
A few favourite books, apps, videos and podcasts. It's a collection in progress!
Books
When there are so many fabulous books in the world, it's an extraordinarily difficult task to choose some over others. For that reason this list is but a fraction of what is available on the art of becoming a better human, and doesn't even venture into fiction. Fiction and story excel in helping us develop empathy, understanding of self, others and the world — the threads that binds — ‘connection’.
Books on being, managing emotions and relationships
An Intimate history of Humanity, and The Hidden Pleasures of Life (which explores and will have you questioning everything about the way you live, from work, success, religion and ageing to humour, relationships and sex - his books, like conversation - the vital balance to mindfulness), Theodore Zeldin
“life could have been different if the meetings which have decided its course had been less silent, superficial or routine, if more thoughts had been exchanged, if humanity had been more able to show itself in them”
"One of the great ambitions is to discover the diversity of the world, to discover who inhabits the world."
Attached, Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
“when our partners are thoroughly dependable and make us feel safe, and especially if they know how to reassure us during the hard times, we can turn our attention to all the other aspects of life that make our existence meaningful.”
Emotional Agility, Susan David
"Abandon the idea of being fearless, and instead walk directly into your fears, with your values as your guide, towards what matters to you. Courage is not an absence of fear; courage is fear walking."
Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt, and Other EverydayPsychological Injuries, Guy Winch
“Intense ruminations can often make us so focused on our own emotional needs that we become blind to those of the people around us and our relationships often suffer as a result.”
Maybe you should talk to someone by Lori Gottlieb is packed full of wisdom as Lori not only shares some of the insights from inside her sessions as a therapist but those that she has learned about herself. there is also an accompanying Workbook and Journal.
“We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.”
Mating in captivity, Esther Perel
"Today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity. At the same time, we expect our committed relationships to be romantic as well as emotionally and sexually fulfilling. Is it any wonder that so many relationships crumble under the weight of it all?"
Radical Acceptance,Tara Brach
“Perhaps the biggest tragedy of our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns...We may want to love other people without holding back, to feel authentic, to breathe in the beauty around us, to dance and sing. Yet each day we listen to inner voices that keep our life small.”
Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection, Sharon Salzberg
“Self-compassion is like a muscle. The more we practice flexing it, especially when life doesn’t go exactly according to plan (a frequent scenario for most of us), the stronger and more resilient our compassion muscle becomes.”
The Book of Life, Alain De Botton
The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown
“One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on "going it alone." Somehow we've come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we're very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It's as if we've divided the world into "those who offer help" and "those who need help." The truth is that we are both.”
Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar, Cheryl Strayed
“Sugar’s columns are easily the most beautiful thing I’ve read all year. They should be taught in schools and put on little slips of paper and dropped from airplanes, for all to read.” Meakin Armstrong, Guernica editor
Quiet: The Power of Introverts, Susan Cain
“We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally.”
Shock Doctrine, Naomi Klein — Ok this isn't entirely on topic, but it's a brilliant, searing look at the damage inflicted when people operate devoid of a moral compass, motivated by self-interest, and neo-conservative, neo-liberal thinking.
The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron
“Survival lies in sanity, and sanity lies in paying attention...the capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention.”
The Element, and Finding your Element, Ken Robinson
“What you do for yourself dies with you when you leave this world, what you do for others lives on forever.”
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, Pema Chödrön
“The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”
Meditation apps
Waking up: Sam Harris brings his remarkable insight and steady presence to this course, which has the allure of a 10 minute a day programme. This is the only app that's lured me to practice day after day.
Calm: Has a range of guided meditations to help you sleep better, reduce anxiety, and feel happier. Also has tips and is suitable whatever your level - from beginners to expert.
Headspace: Offers guided meditations and a range of related articles.
UCSF researchers have studied various digital health applications and thrilled they are now available. A UC study, led by Aric Prather, found that Headspace “used daily for just 10 minutes, reduced stress in a meaningful way, and the benefits lasted for two months after stopping use.”
Omvana: When you sign up you get 25 free meditation tracks from its 500+ tracks of transformational audios. Categories include: Body, Mind, Lifestyle, Productivity, Relationships, Hypnosis.
Smiling Mind: A not-for-profit organisation that offers the free Smiling Mind app and Guided Mindfulness program.
Sleep help - articles and guides
SleepHelp.org a site that promotes sleep health and wellness with a selection of well researched articles and tips on topics ranging from sleep, insomnia, anxiety and stress to mattress reviews. Its guide on how and why meditation can help with insomnia, includes techniques to use if you can’t get to sleep.
Sleepio, a tailored self-help six week system to help you sleep, also offers a number of articles about improving sleep including the sleep basics introduction.
The guide What You Need To Know About Insomnia provides an overview of symptoms, causes, treatments and prevention along with answers to some uncommon questions about insomnia.
If you or someone you know is dealing with cancer, this guide has tips for cancer patients looking to improve their sleep.
Wonder and awe
Finding moments of awe in your day brings big benefits to wellbeing. Whether it’s staring at the stars, being in nature or experiencing art, music, dance or acts of kindness, awe brings connection with life and perspective that can be inspirational and humbling. If you stuck indoors check out these apps and sites:
Daily Art highlights a masterpiece and the stories behind each artwork in under five minutes.
NASA’s galleries include an image of the day. Nothing like gazing at the universe to bring perspective.
Check out this post for some digital wonders including online tours of galleries.
Gratitude
Taking a few minutes each day to note down a few things you are grateful for can make a big impact on your happiness and health - reducing stress, bringing perspective, bringing clarity around life priorities and reframing challenges. I have read of hardened cynics, who, desperate for change in their life, have been surprised at the difference this simple, quick activity has made. If you find it hard to keep track of pen and journal/notepad why not try a gratitude app:
Grateful simple, easy to use gratitude journal. (IOS)
Presently for Android is free and keeps it simple and easy to use.